apologies

Praise God for breaking our Spirits so we can seek wholeness in Him and only in Him.

#lovedbyJesusnonetheless

Was hurt again...
But I chose to write it down only now when the pain has subsided...

I firmly believe...
friends may think you're a hopeless case...
But have faith...
Jesus isn't giving up on you,
why should you give up on yourself?!

#lovedbyJesusnonetheless

Am I not?

??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???

??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???

How many question marks can fit into one's mind?

More than the number of neurons it contains?

As many as the cell it houses?

Hurt.

That was how I felt after she greeted me.

Was it a greeting? A reprimand? An order?

Passing judgement? Announcing a verdict?

I am hurt. Because the person matters to me.

I give importance and value to what the person has to say about me.

I just want to believe You know me better, Lord.

And yes, I am better.

Lord, lead me always to pray...to confide in you whenever I am besieged with emotions like these.

Whenever negativities swarm like a typhoon engulfing a whole city...

And teach me to be careful, too, with the words that I speak...

So I may not commit the same unintentional act

Of hurting the people I love.

Bless my heart that I may speak of words of love...

Amen.

tell me where it hurts

"Tell me where it hurts, now, tell me...
And I'll do my best to make it better..."

the singer went on...


Why does this song sound so familiar?
Yay! Then I remembered...
The bee still hasn't lost its sting
it was just sleeping in its honeycomb
waiting for the next attack of sorts....

I smiled and fought back
whatever unrecognizable negative emotions
the memories brought with it

i don't know how to finish this post
i want to believe I'm way past 'it'
There...The End.

clp

i want to know why

after some deep thinking...
i just want it stopped...
even without knowing why...
because i have been taught otherwise...
only to be shown a different action eventually...
ayyy...

argh moments

I’m being ungrateful I know……..


Supposed to be I’m still ‘high’ from His blessingsssss

I am still high…

Ang sarap sa pakiramdam buying things for yourself after so many months…years na I would scrimp on pampering myself due to low budget…

Pero salamat sa blessing niya.

Salamat sa kung anu-ano pang blessings…

Katatapos lang ng birthday ko…

Salamat sa inyo

Salamat sa lahat ng nakapaligid…

Pero iba lang tama ng taba ko…

Argh!

A need to exhale

04Apr


Ang tagal ko itinumba isa-isa ng mga pader na yun…

Sasandali lang isinimento mo ulit at itinayo…



Eto yung mga panahong gusto mo’ng magtanong…kaibigan ka nga ba?

Save her

I cannot always save her from being hurt
That would be unfair for me…for my ‘other’ friends
We should be past that stage…covering up

I have to fight my own battle
And that battle is with myself
To learn to accept things

I cannot protect her
I am not supposed to protect her
I should not protect her
If it means shielding her and fighting her battles for her
I should let her fight her own battles, too.

Being happy where we are now is the key



*even Harry Potter had to ride a broom and get past several ‘keys’ attacking him to get the one true key….

letting it be

12Apr2011

I did it…
I politely (I think, it’s polite) told her I don’t want to discuss further
Just let it be
At least for the time being

Though I am reminded that, ‘it is never too early to love’ everyday.
I would like to think…
I am still on the road of loving myself first before anybody else.

Yallah!
*embrace to self…


I’ll conquer whatever ‘not-so-good’ feelings are coming my way.

It’s my story, not hers.
Selfish? Nah…just loving myself
So I can love better…in the near future.

seesaw

paborito ba kita?

kasi parang paborito kitang emosyon...seesaw...

not good....

really.

sabi ko...
walang naniniwala sa akin kapag sinasabi ko

cguro kasi nakikita nila 'kinakaya' ko
cguro kasi iniisip nila, sinasabi ko lang pero hindi ko gagawin

digging deeper...
kinakaya ko nga lang ba or talaga namang kaya ko?
sinasabi ko nga lang ba tapos hindi ko rin naman ginagawa
o nagbabadya na ngang gagawin ko

at one point I can easily say, 'so unfair of me'
at times, I could be accused of being so unforgiving

pero alam ko yung gusto ko, eh.
at sa klase ng utak na meron ako...
alam ko miminsan lang ako maging sigurado na gusto ko nga yun...

*akala mo magulo...pero hindi...malinaw nga siya, eh.

worst-best-love

if u can't love me at my worst...you don't have the right to love me at my best.

ahmm...how worst is worst?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

breathe. ok?

Healing Wounds

Fascinating is a good word for wound healing — before you finished picking yourself up and brushing the gravel out of your knee, your body had already begun a complex process that will soon have you ready to roller blade again (perhaps with knee pads this time?).

Not all wounds heal equally. Generally speaking, more serious wounds take longer to heal. Individual factors also influence how quickly your body is able to recover from a wound, including age, nutrition, smoking, stress, and other infections or illnesses.

Better (Bitter) Me

I just want to rest.
Be on my own.
Away from people who triggers bad attitude, painful memories;
Who do not make me a better person.

I'll miss you for sure.
I'd want you by my side, of course.
I'd be jealous and resentful because you chose her over me.

But I'll be over all of these, I claim.
For I want a better me.
And a better me isn't any of these.

---

There comes a point when you just have to let go and give your heart a chance to heal.

---

People always think that the most painful thing in life is losing the one you value. 
The truth is, the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of valuing
someone too much and forgetting that you are special too.

---

Sometimes, it's better to push someone away,
not because you stopped loving that someone;
but because you have to shield yourself from pain.

mutiply: solid

still lovin' my multiply site...
since am tamad to hand write my notes...
i'd troop to the keyboard to type down whatever rumination is going on inside that teeny weeny brain of mine...

then i post it 'for you'
it's private. for my eyes only
epecially during moments like this
when you simply want to write the pain away
write it down and pray it'll be just a memory

thanks to multiply...

version

i just want to exhale...

there are different sides to a story
but it matters what reaches the authority

:( sad but true... (who's the singer na nga ba?!)

Famas

Miss Communication = ME...
Haayyy...Famas Awardee for The Bella Flores Trophy...

Argh!

i hate myself.

why do u have to do it?
where are you coming from?
what is it that you seek?
why do you ahve to make yourself unworthy?

ashamed.

Lord, never, ever let go of me, please.
Gudie me that I may not stop at being ashamed...but instead continuously desire to be repentant and then worthy of Your love and grace.  Amen.

ugh

me not like mornings like this....
i feel so dull...
ugh.